So the kids are back in schools here in the UK as of yesterday, and I think we can all agree that as parents, we all gave a huge sigh of relief. I actually took myself home for a mid-morning nap before sitting down to tackle my checklist for the day.
I’m not going to lie, I was looking forward to the schools reopening, but there was a part of me that wanted to cling onto Zak tighter than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled the vaccine is rolling out and the UK is moving forward to ease restrictions. Unlike many people right now, I’m genuinely proud to be British and live in a country that’s moving forward so positively (although it has taken a fair amount of time). Anyway, I feel I’d gotten so used to having him by my side, homeschooling him, I felt it had turned into second nature, and now I actually feel quite sad not to have him around.
I was expecting some tears if I’m honest, but I’m thrilled that Zak went in and came out of school the happy little boy I know and love. One thing’s for sure – he was TIRED yesterday which was a nice break when it came to bedtime.
And, of course, we’re now allowed to meet another person outdoors in the park, but I’m truly looking forward to the restriction changes on the 29th of March where I can see some of my family I haven’t seen in a very long time. On the plus side, it’s my birthday the day after, which will be the second birthday spent in lockdown but this year I’m feeling much more optimistic.
Changes in 2021
What’s in store for the future? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. Pandemic aside, the last year or so has taught me so much about who I am, who I aspire to be, and the changes I need to make to get there. I believe that with some small but significant changes, I can turn myself into a better version of myself and by the end of 2021, be in a much happier place.
- Focus more on what actually matters. I am guilty of jumping into situations headfirst and only seeing what’s wrong or the hardest parts. So my workload is a pain in the arse
todaymost days – but I’m lucky enough to be able to provide for my family during such a hard time, as well as the added bonus of being available for Zak 24/7.
- Look after me more. This is something I am notoriously bad for. I spend so much time worrying about how everyone else is and how I can make them happy, that I forget that I need to be happy too. A good friend of mine constantly gives me the wake-up call I need to sit back and do me.
- Pursue something larger. I’ve had so many jobs in so many roles and all of them provided me with knowledge and experiences I love. Some I’d rather leave in the past, and some I’d like to pursue further. Whether that be heading into a different career path or taking the step to launch my own business is something I am yet to decide.
- Give myself a better routine. Don’t get me wrong, I have a routine, but it’s not a very good one. I want to make time to breeze through housework, homework and all of the other necessities each day and still have time left over to live in the moment. One thing that’s scaring me recently is how quickly time is passing and how much I need to buck the fuck up and grab life by the bollocks instead of moping.
- Find something to smile about each day. This sounds morbid as fuck, I know. But lately, with the pandemic, homeschooling, not seeing loved ones, and general life stresses, there hasn’t been all that much to smile about. I want to make a point to smile every. damn. day.
- Move around more. As someone who sits at her computer desk most of the time, I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a lazy piece of shit. I’ve got the workout gear and literally live in an area of outstanding beauty, so I need to get out there to improve my health and shift weight.
But for now, as I work through these changes, I’m sitting here feeling pretty happy. Zak is doing amazing, and continues to impress me every single day. He’s a loving, thoughtful, wacky, and seriously bloody clever kid that I’m proud to call mine.
This last year or so has literally been a fuckturd. Time to stop waiting for change to happen and make this year – and the rest to come – worth remembering.