Category: Anxiety

How To Deal With A Frightened Child

Today I had to deal with one of the worst things a parent can see their child go through; fear.

Dinky had an ophthalmology appointment today and although this isn’t the first time he has been to have his eyes checked, he was not happy during the whole car journey there. My Dad took us, and normally when he’s around all he can do is talk and blabber on about nothing. But today he was silent, with the odd sigh and whimper. He told us that he was bored, so we kept chatting to him to keep him occupied.

Fast forward thirty minutes into the car journey and he lets out an almighty cry, followed by projectile vomiting and hyperventilating. Luckily we were close to the hospital so we parked up and cleaned everything up. I took Dinky into the ophthalmology department to get him checked in and that’s when he confessed that he was frightened about his appointment.

Now, I could have gone about this statement in one of two ways:

  • Shrug off his fear and take him in knowing there’s nothing to be frightened of
  • Let him explain why he was frightened and then comfort his fears and encourage him that Mummy is with him and that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him

I, of course, opted for the second option. Just because I knew that he would be absolutely fine, it doesn’t mean that the fear in his head was irrelevant or untrue. He felt scared and the last thing he needed was for his fear to be shrugged off or dismissed.

When I’m feeling anxious, nobody can understand why. Not even me and that can be so frustrating for all parties involved. I can honestly say I appreciate the company of someone who doesn’t dismiss me much more than someone saying “you’ll be fine.”

 

 

This made me think about how we sometimes treat children and their fears. Why should their fears be dismissed? They are feeling scared and what they need is someone to explain things to them not just saying “oh stop being silly.”

The next time your child reacts to something unusual compared to normal, consider the fact that they might be frightened. Take the time to listen to their fears and let them know that it’s okay to feel that way sometimes, but you will be there through everything. For example, if they are scared of a monster under the bed, empathise with them, show them nothing is there and also let them know that if they need you, you will be straight in to make everything better.

Every child is different, but today really opened my eyes with Dinky and his fears. I know how he feels because I’ve felt like that before, and even though everyone told me I’d be fine, it would have been nice if I had the chance to explain why I felt so scared.

#SpeakUp #MentalHealthAwareness #NeverAlone #Autism

 

Keeping A Positive Mind When Things Are Turned Upside Down

It’s becoming increasingly hard lately to keep a positive mind due to personal issues that seem to keep showing up one after another. I’ve got to be honest, I’m so fed up of dealing with one problem to then be presented with another. So today I’m going to be talking about how to keep a positive mind even when things are turned upside down because I certainly need it at the moment!

Positive Thoughts

At the moment this seems near on impossible, but the only way to keep yourself upbeat is to take the time to think about the positivity in your life. Even if it’s something as simple as being happy with the way your hair looks that day, making sure that you’re reminding yourself that it’s not all bad will help you from driving yourself insane in your mind.

Get Outside

One of the worst things that you can do when you’re feeling low is to coop yourself up inside the house all day. While it’s totally normal to not want to talk to anyone when you’re feeling down in the dumps, you could take yourself off somewhere quiet for a long walk. If music helps, stick your headphones on and walk your troubles away. I personally find walking to music extremely therapeutic. A song that’s really helping me at the moment is “Live Outside” by Enter Shikari. Definitely worth a listen if you’re stuck for new things on your playlist.

Also, exercise releases endorphins into your brain, which in turn makes you happier. Being fitter within yourself will give you a self-confidence boost, and make you feel healthier which yep, you guessed it – makes you happier. Seriously, get outside whenever you can!

Eat Right

We should all be doing this anyway, but it’s all too easy to slip into a routine of eating junk food and neglecting the nutritious food that our bodies desire. Teach yourself to say no to that packet of crisps, and instead have a glass of water before deciding if you’re actually hungry. The food we put into our bodies affects the way our brains work; therefore eating good food will brighten up the mind.

Take some time to work out a new eating habit that you and your loved ones can take on so that you can all begin to reap the benefits and become healthier.

Take Some Me Time

This is possibly one of the most important things you can do, especially when everything is getting on top of you. As a parent, I know that some days it’s almost impossible to get any time alone, even in the bathroom! However, taking even ten minutes a day to do something that you love will help you touch ground with reality and begin to think clearer.

Remember, if you are feeling particularly hopeless and are struggling to lift your mood to see your GP right away. There are many different options for you to explore, and you should never struggle alone. #MentalHealthAwareness #NeverAlone

How To Maintain A Positive Outlook On Life

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we can become very negative in terms of the way we think and the way we see things. It’s so easy to become cynical about the world when all we seem to see on the news is constant injustice and tragedy, all while we may be dealing with our own pain and heartache. But negativity will prevent you from being able to truly enjoy your own life, because it will just be that dark cloud that is hanging heavy above your head, and you don’t want that do you?

All you need to do is make small adjustments in your life, and you can turn the environment you’re living in into a happier place for your mind.

Here’s how to do that.

Reframe your challenges.

It’s important to tell yourself that you can never get stuck. There are no dead ends when it comes to challenges that you will face in your life – only redirections. Sometimes there are things that we just can’t control, no matter how much we may try, and the sooner you can accept that the sooner you can let go and be at peace with it. Do not let uncontrollable happenings drive you mad – its life, things happen. Instead, think about the things that we can control, like our smiles, our communication, our social skills, and our relationships with others.

Exercise is the only drug.   

Exercise is a wonderful way to keep a positive mind, even if you don’t feel like it at the time. This is because it triggers the release all of the happy chemicals like endorphins, that generally make you feel good, even euphoric at times. A Pilates workout is a very fun thing to do that not only keeps you nice and fit, but allows your mind to be cleared from any troubles, and focuses on finding your calm and happy place that everyone needs to visit sometimes.

Keep a gratitude journal.

You may think this sounds rather silly, but sometimes an event or experience will happen that can completely ruin your whole day, and this means even if something good happened earlier, the bad is always a lot better at overshadowing. So knowing that our minds tend to hold onto the negative, we can intentionally focus on the positive instead. You can do this by writing down at least three things that you feel truly grateful for every single day. You will soon see how your attitude starts to change because you’re deliberately forcing yourself to focus on the good.

Get good at being rejected.

Being rejected is horrible, it makes you feel like crap, and you won’t want to put yourself out there ever again. But, little did you know, that rejection is actually a skill. It’s not easy to fail the job that you were going for, or get broken up with on your birthday (yes, it happens!). Only the strong and talented can deal with it, which is you. So rather than letting it put you down – embrace it as an unidentified challenge that will soon come in handy one day in the future.

Birthday Gift Wishlist For A Soon To Be 6 Year Old

This post contains affiliate links. If you follow my links and purchase anything, I will receive a small commission for the sale ♥

 

I can’t believe my Dinky is not so small anymore! With his sixth birthday approaching, I have started to think about what to get him for his birthday. It’s not until December, but with Christmas to think about then too, I like to get his birthday gifts in nice and early so I’m not rushing around.

Being a Mum of one, I always struggle to find gifts for Dinky because I’m never sure on what to get for boys, so some of these ideas might be out there. If you’re struggling for ideas for your little one, hopefully, this wishlist will help give you some ideas on birthday gifts for your little ones too (or dare I say it, Christmas!)

  • Marvel always goes down a treat for little boys. The idea of being a superhero is super exciting. Why not consider getting them a fancy dress costume for them to race around in pretending they are their favourite superhero? You can grab one from this link here!

Official Marvel licensed Captain America fancy dress costume 5-6 years with Shield & Mask, Made for George Collection

  • Dinky loves colouring, drawing and writing at the moment. I struggle to get him out of his bedroom because he’s always drawing me something new, or writing an invitation for me to come to his “party.” If your child is the same, or they simply need new pens and pencils, grab them one of these large sets so they can carry on creating!

Artworx 125 Piece Art Studio With Aluminium Case – Purple

  • One thing that I’ve been meaning to get for Dinky for some time, is a sensory light for his bedroom. He absolutely loves the one that me and Mr. Pie have in our bedroom, but unfortunately, it get’s quite warm so I wouldn’t want that in his bedroom. I came across this sensory light and I think it would be perfect for a birthday gift this year!

LED Colour Changing Rocket Light Tube with Remote 100cm By Playlearn

  • Dinky is obsessed with having a “den” at the moment. Everywhere we are he wants me to create a den out of something. I think it provides him with a place to calm down if he is feeling particularly anxious. He also likes to play and pretend it’s his house with a kitchen and makes me food. I think getting him a mid sleeper bed with a den underneath would provide the perfect space for his bedroom for him to tuck himself away and play. Also, he needs a new bed so I’d be killing two birds with one stone here!

Cabin Bed Mid Sleeper Pine Bunk with Tent Blue 5758WG-BLUE

  • Another thing that Dinky loves is cars. He’s at his happiest when talking about, playing with, being driven around, or even playing on our PS4 on Need For Speed. I’ve come across this handy little case full of cars that will provide storage for them too! Not that I expect the cars to go back in the case(!)

CrazySell Plastic Dustproof Toy Cars Parking Storage with Track Plastic Box Divider Organizer – Color Randomly

Some of these gifts I may not buy for him for his birthday, they might have to wait until Christmas! I plan on adding to this list as time goes on! I hope it has given you some inspiration for any gifts you may have to buy in the near future!

Project Improve Myself: Week One

I’m on a major self-help mission at the moment. As you may have read in my last post, I’ve not been feeling too good about myself lately and I need to make a change in my day to day life. I’ve decided to not only improve my health but to improve all other aspects of my life too so that I can feel happier on the whole. I thought I’d document the change(s) that I’m going to be making so that if anyone else wants to join in and improve themselves, then they can.

Chalk, Writing, Success, Business, Strategy

Sunday

Sunday is the day that I get Dinky back from his Dad’s, and it’s the best day of the week for me because we get to spend the whole day relaxing and being ourselves. The change that I’m going to implement today is that I’m going to blitz our home and make it super clean for the new week that begins tomorrow. This way we can get up on Mondays to a freshly cleaned home, and it will make the transition from Sunday into Monday that little bit easier on us all.

The next thing that I need to do today is to go and do the weekly shop. We’re all making a conscious effort to buy healthier foods now, so I’m going to step it up a notch and buy completely healthy food so that we’ve all got no choice but to eat healthier. This week I’ve not been feeling too well. I’ve had a headache behind my eyes for the majority of the week, and I’m certain that it’s stress. However, crappy food and drink wouldn’t have helped the situation either. I’m tired of feeling sluggish and want to make the change now.

Monday-Thursday

Back to the routine of work and school runs from Monday, and I’m going to make the effort to stop being so lazy and actually walk the school run to get Dinky from school. We live close to the top of a hilly town, and Dinky’s school is at the bottom. I can’t think of a better way to get our heart rates up than marching up and down the hill each day.

Since I’ve become self-employed, I’ve been constantly looking at ways to improve my standard of work, and I’m always looking at new opportunities for me to take on. This week I’ve got a few things lined up that I’ve never done before, so I’m feeling optimistic at the idea of a change in my workload too.

Dinky goes to his Dad’s every Thursday afternoon, so the school run won’t be applicable on Friday but I do tend to pile a lot of work onto myself on a Friday when I’ve got the chance to work without any distractions.

 

Fruit, Splash, Fresh, Liquid, Water, Nature, Drop

Eating

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve got a large food shop to do today and I’m going to make it so that we’re only eating healthy food. I’m going to start planning our meals for the week and precooking as much as I can to make it easier to stick to a healthier lifestyle.

On the menu tonight is going to be a grilled chicken and couscous medley, with a light garlic dressing and salad. It’s super easy to throw together, and it’s really low in calories and fat. It’s also one of those meals that you can precook, and warm through when you’re ready to eat. Perfect for Mr Pie’s random work schedules.

Admittedly I’ve not planned meals for the rest of the week yet, but once I’ve got the food in I’m going to sit down and write a meal plan out, pin it to the fridge and stick to it.

I’d love to get some tips and tricks on how I can continue making changes for the better in our lifestyle. Has anyone else ever had enough and started making changes? What did you do to successfully change your lives? Get in touch below!

 

Much love xx

Improving My Health For A Better Life

Lately I have been struggling with my health, and for once it’s not my mental health. It seems like one thing after another lately. As soon as my mental health started to improve, my physical health seemed to decline and that’s why it’s time for me to make a change once and for all. I’m fed up of always having something to complain about, and I’m also fed up of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. My overall health needs to improve, and soon. I have become lazy with a lot of things, including simple tasks like going to the shops, keeping our home tidy and wanting to walk to and from the school to keep fit. I know that’s not who I usually am so I need to get myself into gear and find some new habits to form.

What’s the plan?

Food

First and foremost, my plan is to find a way of changing my eating habits without feeling like I’m on some sort of diet. The one thing that seems to throw me off is the feeling that I can’t have a certain food because I tend to rebel against myself and eat it anyway.

I think the key here is to not make anything off limits, but to try and have only small amounts of the ‘naughty’ food, just enough to satisfy any cravings. For example, if I fancy some chips with my dinner, rather than not allowing myself to have any, I’ll substitute a large amount of what I’d normally have for a salad or vegetables. Doing that alone should improve my eating habits dramatically; therefore improving my health. This way I have a chance of losing weight without banning all of my favourite foods.

Exercise

Admittedly, the school run is much easier when Mr Pie can take me and Dinky there because he then takes me home to work and heads off to work himself, so walking the route to school each day seems a little redundant. On his days off however, I plan on leaving him to relax in bed and taking Dinky to school myself to make sure that we are both getting a few days a week of exercise.

When I haven’t got Dinky, I’m going to start taking myself off on walks in my free time not just for my body, but for my mind too. I spend countless amounts of hours each day in front of a computer, so taking myself away for a short time each day will help me clear my head. Plus, where we live is so beautiful too so I could also get some pictures for my Insta!

Home

Lately, home life has been pretty crap, simply because of the amount of work that Myself and Mr Pie have taken on lately. Our plan is to move and buy our own home soon, so working to generate the money has been essential in our minds. We do however, enjoy drink in the evenings which means that things like housework are sometimes neglected. I am going to make time each day to keep up and maintain our home so that when we do come to relax, we don’t have to feel bad about neglecting our home.

Stress

Even though in the last year I’ve come on leaps and bounds with my mental health, I still find myself stressing massively over small things which turns into me feeling awful about myself, or snapping at my loved ones.

I’ve been reading about meditation and I’m going to give it a go so that each evening, I can simply listen to some relaxing music and let my stresses go.

Even though I’ve said this on my blog a thousand times, I’m going to give this new me a good go. I can’t continue hating myself forever because it’s going to end up driving people away that care about me and it’s also not going to help my anxieties in the long run.

Has anyone else felt like this before? How did you get through it? I’d love to know.

Much love xx

 

 

 

 

Boost Your Mood And Your Mind

Stress, anxiety, and depression are some of the demons that many of us will face at some point in our life. When you become a parent, it can feel like you are doing the wrong thing by trying to look after yourself, which is, however, entirely false. Looking after your mind and your body is something that everybody should prioritize. However, taking the time out of busy schedules to look after yourself can be guilt inducing and make you feel like you are slacking in other areas of your life. We all have the right to happiness in our lives, and the best way of looking after other people starts by looking after yourself first.Check out the following ways you can boost your mood and see if you connect with any of them.

 

Practice a form of meditation

 

Gone are the days when only guru’s or hippies would practice meditation, and it is now a well-respected and established way to relax, unwind and clear your mind of negative or destructive thoughts. Many people claim that meditation can affect your overall well-being and not just calm and empty your mind. Yoga is one such form of meditation, allowing you to connect your mind to your body and eliminate any interfering thoughts that can cause stress or anxiety. There are many different types of yoga, including Bikram, Kundalini, and Hatha yoga.  Find one that you enjoy, and you feel a connection with. It might be, however, that you simply don’t connect with yoga at all, and that’s okay. There are other practices that don’t entail getting out a mat and putting yourself into a series of complicated looking positions. Mindfulness is one such practice, that benefits the mind and the body all in one. Fans of this movement claim that mindfulness is about being present, enjoying the moment you are in, and focusing on what you are doing without allowing outside influences or future fears to rule your present. This can be a meditative practice as it allows you to focus on the act of being rather than worrying about things that are external to you and therefore beyond your control.

 

Plant based Diets

 

More people than ever are turning to plant-based or vegan diets as a way of boosting their health, as well as reducing the stimulants and  bad habits they may have such as cigarettes and alcohol. Living a more wholesome lifestyle might mean small steps such as exchanging cigarettes for premium e-liquids or only drinking wine on a certain day of the week. There is much evidence to suggest that plant based diets can increase your general health, from reducing the overall cholesterol in your body to providing you with mental clarity, something experienced by many proponents of a plant-based lifestyle. You don’t need to be vegan, however, to experience some of the benefits of a plant-based diet. Increasing the amount of fruit and vegetables you consume daily, and reducing the amount of meat and dairy you consume can really boost the way you feel about yourself. New lifestyle trends are popping up, such as Flexitarianism and Reductionism, all aimed at reducing the number of animal products in your diet as well as the negative impact of the animal industry upon the earth.

 

Focus On Yourself

 

If you are a parent or caregiver, it can be all too easy to lose yourself in caring for other people in your life. While looking after your family is important, it is also to look after yourself, and not lose sight of who you were before you had children. If you have a hobby, then make sure you continue with this and don’t give it up due to time restraints or being too tired to continue. Making time to ‘do you’ will often give you more energy, even if it means sacrificing time in another area of your life. When you do something you love, maybe playing a sport or painting, it can give you a few hours of time off being a parent and allow you to come back to your routine refreshed and with a more positive attitude.

 

I Don’t Want The School Holidays To End!

Not long until the kids are back to school! I can literally hear the sigh of relief from a lot of you!

I’ve got to admit, I have loved every second of the summer holidays with Dinky, he’s really come into himself as a character and his behavior has improved massively.

Before the summer holidays, I was struggling with his behavior because he was very much chatting me back, doing everything opposite to what I had asked and in general, being a little pain in the bum.



So what changed?

Once the summer holidays started, I decided to start this trust routine with him. Before, whenever I left the room I’d have to drag him with me because I’d be worried about him trashing the place or messing around with Mr. Pie’s gaming consoles. I decided to give him the option to show me that I can trust him, and he prevailed wonderfully. So, from then on I was introducing new ways of parenting him and he’s taken so well to it. He used to really freak out if something broke or he knew he had done something wrong, but now he calmly tells me what’s happened and we resolve it together.

He used to interrupt if I was talking to anybody but him, but now he will patiently wait by my side and lightly tap my shoulder. Little things like that have totally improved and I’m so proud of the little person that he is becoming.

So, he’s about to start year one at school, and that’s something I’m quite anxious about because of how much going to reception upset him at first. He’s now used to his routine there, and learning through play seems to work out really well for him. I know that going into year one there will be more ‘work’ as such, and I hope he settles into that as well as he has done with learning through play.

Also, I think part of me wants to keep my baby boy at home and enjoy this amazing behavior he has adopted for a little longer, before the attitudes he picks up from school come back!

How many of you don’t want the school holidays to end? What year will your little one be going into?

The Benefits of being a Blogger

Today I took full advantage of being a blogger and able to work wherever I want and spent the day with my friend so that we could catch up. (In between her doing housework and getting her youngest from nursery I was able to work from the comfort of her sofa!).

We decided to fill her paddling pool up for the kids to go in after school and cool off, and to treat them all to a takeaway pizza and chips.

I’ve not felt so relaxed in ages, I really enjoyed watching Dinky play with her children. His confidence has come on so much. When my friend and I first met he would be too anxious to join in with their games and would nervously be tugging on me to either go home or for me to have to be by his side.

But today, he proved how much he has come along by happily joining in with their play and literally only coming to me for food and drinks. As you can see, they had a great time!


Nothing makes me happier than seeing a Dinky enjoying himself. For years we really struggled with his interaction and now he seems to have conquered that. I’m one happy Mumma indeed.

So, to sum up my day, I managed to:
1. Catch up with a great friend of mine.

2. Enjoy watching Dinky play and interact with other children.

3. Work from where and when I felt like it.

I’m totally getting used to this whole being your own boss thing!

How can you become a full-time blogger?

If you want to know how you can be your own boss, check out my post here on How to become a full-time blogger. I’ve also got a great giveaway ending 30/06 there too, so head over and enter!

Just because depression isn’t visible, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Depression is something that the majority of us will suffer with at some point in our lives. Whether we realize it or not. It comes in different ways for all of us. Some of us just think we’re feeling a little low. Some of us feel like life isn’t worth living anymore.

My experience.

When I first went in about my mental health, the Doctor wasn’t sure whether I was confusing depression with anxiety. Now I look back on it, maybe at the time I was, but I’ve definitely had an element of depression.

I battled for a very long time with my mental health, and I was stubborn enough to not accept the help and let the Doctor prescribe me medication. I was scared I’d be on it for life and become addicted.

A colleague of mine at the time managed to convince me to try it because I’d got to the point where I was nervous about even answering the phone. I was pushing everyone that cares about me away by not talking about my feelings because I felt like it’d just be a burden on them. They did everything I did, worked hard, looked after the children etc. So why couldn’t I do that?

My plan of action.

I finally took the plunge and went to the Doctor asking for medication. I was already on propranolol for my anxiety but that didn’t touch my mood. When I finally gave in I just sat there and sobbed, rambling onto the Doctor about everything that’s built up for me. I felt stupid. So many people in the world are going through so much worse than I am.

I did, however, feel better for just letting it out. The Doctor prescribed me a low dose of sertraline, as what I was feeling clearly wasn’t just my anxiety.

I went back after 2 weeks for a review of my mood. To be honest, in that short space of time I didn’t really see an improvement, apart from the fact that it had helped my anxiety issues slightly!

Within a month of that, I felt like a totally new person. I was no longer crying every day or breaking down over the smallest of things. My patience had improved when it comes to Dinky and his challenging behaviors. Most importantly, I was actually able to smile again.

How do I get a diagnosis for depression?

It’s not something that the Doctor will just diagnose straight away, especially if you’ve not had any past history of mental health. The Doctor will likely prescribe you some antidepressants and ask you come back after a few weeks to check your mood. The Doctor may even refer you to see a mental health worker if you really don’t want to take medication for your depression.

I’m not saying medication is the way forward to cure depression because it isn’t the case for some people. I’m just saying it helped me and still is. I hope to come off of my medication soon.

If you feel like you may be suffering from depression, please go and see your Doctor. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. In fact, it means the opposite. You’ve got the strength to go and tell someone that actually, you’re really not doing okay and need some help. There is nothing wrong with that. Just because depression isn’t visible, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Useful links

Here are some links to find out more about depression, take a mood test, and how you can get the best help for you.

Moodzone

NHS Choices

How To Cope With Anxiety

Please remember that you’re never alone in this. I believe that you can get through this.