Category: love

How To Deal With A Frightened Child

Today I had to deal with one of the worst things a parent can see their child go through; fear.

Dinky had an ophthalmology appointment today and although this isn’t the first time he has been to have his eyes checked, he was not happy during the whole car journey there. My Dad took us, and normally when he’s around all he can do is talk and blabber on about nothing. But today he was silent, with the odd sigh and whimper. He told us that he was bored, so we kept chatting to him to keep him occupied.

Fast forward thirty minutes into the car journey and he lets out an almighty cry, followed by projectile vomiting and hyperventilating. Luckily we were close to the hospital so we parked up and cleaned everything up. I took Dinky into the ophthalmology department to get him checked in and that’s when he confessed that he was frightened about his appointment.

Now, I could have gone about this statement in one of two ways:

  • Shrug off his fear and take him in knowing there’s nothing to be frightened of
  • Let him explain why he was frightened and then comfort his fears and encourage him that Mummy is with him and that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him

I, of course, opted for the second option. Just because I knew that he would be absolutely fine, it doesn’t mean that the fear in his head was irrelevant or untrue. He felt scared and the last thing he needed was for his fear to be shrugged off or dismissed.

When I’m feeling anxious, nobody can understand why. Not even me and that can be so frustrating for all parties involved. I can honestly say I appreciate the company of someone who doesn’t dismiss me much more than someone saying “you’ll be fine.”

 

 

This made me think about how we sometimes treat children and their fears. Why should their fears be dismissed? They are feeling scared and what they need is someone to explain things to them not just saying “oh stop being silly.”

The next time your child reacts to something unusual compared to normal, consider the fact that they might be frightened. Take the time to listen to their fears and let them know that it’s okay to feel that way sometimes, but you will be there through everything. For example, if they are scared of a monster under the bed, empathise with them, show them nothing is there and also let them know that if they need you, you will be straight in to make everything better.

Every child is different, but today really opened my eyes with Dinky and his fears. I know how he feels because I’ve felt like that before, and even though everyone told me I’d be fine, it would have been nice if I had the chance to explain why I felt so scared.

#SpeakUp #MentalHealthAwareness #NeverAlone #Autism

 

Don’t Let Good Habits Die Hard In A New Relationship

Entering a new relationship is always an exciting time. You wake up thinking about them and go to sleep with a smile on your face. Every text gives you butterflies and the time you spend together seems to go too quickly. It is, however, too easy to slip into bad routines as you become more comfortable with one another, and you can soon begin to slip into bad routines that can be bad for your money, mind, and health. In this article are going to be some ways that you can ensure none of these things happen.

Money

Even though going out on dates to restaurants, bars, and other exciting places is brilliant, make sure that you’re budgeting all of this cost into your regular income. Not wanting to have to say no is totally understandable, but you should simply just explain that you can’t afford it at the moment. It’s easy to think to yourself that you will be fine, but when it comes to the crunch you can’t pay your bills.

 

Instead of going out and spending lots of money, you could offer to cook for your new partner. There’s nothing better than eating a home cooked meal, renting a movie and snuggling on the sofa. It will also give you both a chance to get to know each other a little bit more without the distractions of the outside world.

 

Time

Even though you probably want to spend every waking second with them, having time away from each other is good for both of you. One mistake that many people make is being together all of the time and forgetting who they were when they were single. Make sure that you’re still creating time to spend with your friends. Neglecting them could be a bad idea, especially if your new relationship doesn’t work out. Being with your new partner all of the time will make you rely on them, and keeping your independence is important especially for those times where you are out with your friends separately. You want to be able to enjoy the time you have alone with your friends without worrying what your partner is up to. Trust is key in any relationship, new or old.

 

Spending time alone will also give you the chance to make sure that you’re looking after yourself properly. Taking a long hot bath, making a meal and catching up on your favorite TV shows will get you back to yourself in no time. Plus, you’ve heard the saying distance makes the heart grow fonder right?

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Health

As mentioned earlier, you might be going out on many dates and eating amazing meals, but have you thought about how this will have an effect on your health? It’s easy to gain some weight as you become content with your new partner, but be careful not to let yourself slip too much because it could massively decline your health.

 

Instead of opting for the plush meals that are on offer at the restaurant, why not ask if they could substitute the fries out for a salad, or even opting for a meal with fewer calories in? Most menus these days display the nutritional value. Try to go for something that’s going to be kinder to your waistline.

 

Making sure that you don’t neglect your skin care is also important too. We all have our own routines of washing and moisturizing our skin and when you enter a new relationship it’s easy to forget about. Keep up with your usual routine will keep your skin looking and feeling at it’s best. Try using organic essential oils with your skin care routine. They can also work wonders around the home and give off great health benefits like easier breathing and sleeping.

 

If you have an exercise routine (which if you don’t, you should) make sure that you keep that up as much as possible too. It’s as easy to gain weight through not exercising just as easy as it is through eating more than you’re used to. If your new partner has a routine too, maybe you could do it together to encourage each other not to quit on yourselves.

Home

It’s likely that you won’t be spending as much time at home because you will be out and about with your partner, and possibly staying over for the night at their home once in awhile too. One thing that many people admit to when they get into a new relationship is their home becomes neglected and forgotten about while they’re off having fun. They admit to becoming lazy when it comes to household chores and DIY tasks. Make sure that you take time to keep your home up to scratch. There’s nothing worse than having to try and quickly wash and dry an outfit for a date. If you keep up with all of your chores you shouldn’t have any problems. Also, imagine your new partner coming over to your home and it was in a mess? You’d be mortified.

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Progressing in the relationship

It comes to a stage in most relationships where both parties are ready to move in together, and take things forward. If you’re at this stage then make sure that again, you don’t neglect your money, health, friends and home. Wherever you will both be living, make sure that you set up chores for the both of you to be doing. Many relationships suffer when the couple decides to move in together because one of them doesn’t do their housework; therefore arguments arise.

 

Make sure that you still make time for your friends too. You could host dinner parties at home and invite both yours and your partners friends to mingle. This way, you can spend time with your friends and your loved one. It’s likely that if you’ve moved in together that you can see some sort of future, so it’s understandable that you’d want to spend a little more time together than before. Although, many couples admit to struggling when they move in together because of how much more time they have to spend together. It can be hard when you’re used to your own space to then suddenly have to share it with your partner.

 

Money can also be a big issue when you move in with a partner, especially if one of you earns a considerable amount more than the other. Before moving in, sit down together and estimate how much your property will need for utility bills, rent/mortgage, food and any luxuries you both want. Once you have a figure, work out who will be paying which bills but make sure you’re keeping it fair to both parties. You will also need to work out how you’re going to keep all of your spare money. You might choose to keep your spare money separate. If this is the case, then you can each save for separate things that you want. Many couples though, choose to combine their spare money to save for something for their future. This might be saving for a deposit on a property, a new car, or even a holiday for the pair of you. Whichever you decide to go for, make sure you plan all of this before moving in together.

 

Moving in together often poses a threat on the relationship because of the decision to unite and live together. It’s likely that in your spare time away from work you will both be doing things together, and because some people are used to being alone it might be hard for them to adapt to living with someone. It’s true that you never really know someone until you move in with them. Moving in can also bring out bad habits that you might not have seen before.

 

Another thing that you should both establish if you’re choosing to move in together is what you both see from your future together. Many couples rush to move in together because they’re loved up and don’t truly know each other and their plans in life. Relationships often break down because one party wants children, whereas the other half doesn’t. Make sure you’re both in it for the long haul, and with a similar outcome.

 

It seems like there are a lot of things to think about, and a lot of rules to follow when you get into a new relationship. In the reality of it all though, trusting your common sense and following your heart will land you with someone that you can see a future with. There’s no rules when it comes to love. It just happens. If you find yourself falling in love then run with it, because it’s the most amazing thing in this world!