I doubt you will ever read this, but I love you.
I love the way you kiss my cheek when you’ve been naughty.
I love the way you can never be still, even though I know it’s more frustrating for you than it is for anyone else.
I love how every morning regardless of how you feel, you greet me with a massive grin and you always have something ready to show me.
I love how amazing your memory is. You recall things that I had long forgotten about, and speak about it so fondly, even if it wasn’t a particularly good memory.
I love how you always compliment me. At the grand age of 5 you never fail to make me smile by saying something lovely to me.
I love your attitude (most of the time). I can totally see myself in you and that makes me so proud.
I love that you always try your hardest. I know you find it hard to keep up with some things, but your effort is always 100%.
I love how brave you have been through all of these appointments for your autism diagnosis, and also getting your glasses.
I love the way you look at me and Ricky.
I love how you adore your younger brother and your Dad and Step-Mum.
I love how meticulous you are with tasks. It has to be perfect or not done at all.
I know that life is scary and frustrating, and I want you to know that even if it seems like I’m mad or sad, my love for you never wavers. Mummy is scared. Constantly. I need you to know that I want nothing but the best for you and that you’re never alone.
I love you Zak.