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Why me?

Why is it always me who has to keep her mouth shut?

Why is it always me who has to be sensible?

Why is it always me who takes all of the shit?

Why is it always me that never gets an apology?

Why is it always me who has to take control?

Because I’m Mum. I’m the Mrs. I’m the younger colleague. I’m the one that has to be the mean one or the inexperienced one.

Just once, I’d LOVE to be the wild one. To be the one that someone else has to take care of, to be the one that let’s everyone down, but still gets forgiven no matter what. I’d love to be carefree. I’d love to not give two shits about anything or anyone.

But I do.

So I put up with it.

Sometimes I wonder why.

Then I realise. 

Those people. Those situations. Those times where I have to be that person, it’s because I care. It’s because I appreciate what I have and I will literally do anything to make someone I love happy. Because on those rare occasions that I get thanks, it’s incredible.

I just wish that I felt more appreciated.


#exhausted

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