Your looks won’t pierce his strength.

It’s no secret that Dinky is currently going through a diagnosis for autism. I’ve known from a very early age that he would be.

All of these are phrases I loathe.

He doesn’t look like he has autism..

No it’s not a physical deformity, it’s a mental condition. So no, he doesn’t look any different to what you consider “normal”.

In fact he is a gorgeous, happy, cheerful looking child.

He’s fine..

No actually he’s not. He needs constant reassurance, a whole week planned out in advance. He needs everything to go as scheduled. He needs me to block out strange noises, he needs to repeat things, he needs to relive his fondest memories over and over, he needs me to go through the same rigmarole everyday just to prevent a meltdown.

But… he can remember things that you will have long forgotten about. He can take things apart and put things back together perfectly first try. He is so interested on how and why things are made. That noise he’s scared of? It’s because he wants to understand why that noise is being made, and how he can fix it.

All kids learn at different rates..

Yes they do, but when your child can barely put a sentence together at the age of three and a child almost a year younger is talking full on, you know something isn’t right.

He may not have been able to talk since he left the womb but he always shows love and compassion. He already knows how to use my phone better than I do. He’s so tech savvy I can already see him being in the tech industry when he is older. He’s always happy, he always greets me with a smile, even if he’s in trouble. He always knows how to cheer me up and put a smile back on my face.

Oh that’s normal, my kid does that

I’m not denying that your child doesn’t misbehave or become frightened at times, but please don’t make me explain how fear of the bathroom fan coming on is different to fear of the boogeyman.

I hate having to try and explain autism to the dumb and ignorant. I hate the looks he gets when he doesn’t do what a “normal” child does. I hate that “normal” is even something my beautiful boy is compared to.

Don’t look at me with pity. Don’t look at him with pity. He’s the strongest person I know. I can see his fright and confusion but he still faces every day with a smile. Your looks won’t pierce his strength. 

Autism, mental health, mother, son, mblogger, mental health matters,

He’s perfect, and he’s mine.

Parenting and PND
  • Zara

    I think it’s really important to look back on this post when you need it. It can be a really difficult time and although autism is hitting the news a lot, or talked about more doesn’t mean as parents we won’t end up bumping into those people who still have no idea. Zak is fabulous and so are you.

    • missporkpie

      Ahh thank you! Yes he is amazing and I wanted to write about what he CAN do rather than keep hearing the negatives. Its a difficult condition to deal with but I wouldn't change him for the world!

  • Rachel

    This is such a beautiful post :) I don't understand why people are so quick to jump on the 'normal' bandwagon. I think the only thing 'normal' amongst children is having differences. Different ways of thinking, of learning, of dealing with things. Different extremes in behaviours and different coping methods. I hope that as your son grows and understands more he will find his own coping strategies so that he can become the best that he can be. There is nothing wrong with different! Thanks for linking up with #MHLinky :) Hope to see you next week!

  • Jerry

    He has such a wonderful smile...many blessings to you and your son

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